The 7 Commandments of ANCism

I asked Elizabeth what she thinks of the current state of affairs in South Africa at present. She stunned me with her answer. This is what she said. Verbatim.

“Orwell”.

Stunned, I just shook my head. She looked at me and shook her head too.

I got the reference to Animal Farm. And I understood what she meant by it. I was shaking my head because I was dumbfounded by the fact that she knew who George Orwell was, let alone the books he had written. Apparently, they are taught these things at revolutionary school or something…

Never-the-less, this got me thinking.
Is it possible that we as a country are more animalist than we’d like to think?

From the perspective of the common man on the street (with an intellectual refreshment consultant) maybe South Africa is a little more Orwellian than even animal farm was. For those of you who can’t remember the book cartoon, here are the original rules:

  1. Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy.
  2. Whatever goes upon four legs, or has wings, is a friend.
  3. No animal shall wear clothes.
  4. No animal shall sleep in a bed.
  5. No animal shall drink alcohol.
  6. No animal shall kill any other animal.
  7. All animals are equal.

I think Madiba may have plagiarised these commandments a little when he wrote South Africa’s constitution. Not all of them, because walking hasn’t been outlawed in favour of crawling, and I am allowed to sleep in a bed, and wear clothes, and drink alcohol. But apart from that he copied them, I’m sure of it.

Anyway, this was written on a farm and the rules were for pigs. The point is that these rules were put in place to ensure a better farm for the animals to live on. One where everyone was treated fairly.

That was the idealistic South Africa of 1994! Equality was the name of the game!

But just like the commandments were broken and amended in Animal Farm, the same is happening here.

Don’t believe me?

How about this? In Animal Farm the commandment that said no animal shall sleep in a bed, was amended to say that no animal shall sleep in a bed with sheets. In South Africa, El Presidente has taken this one step further to say that No President shall sleep in a bed with OLD sheets. You see he needs to upgrade his Nkandla home, because what happens if Barrack Obama BBM’s Msholozi and says “hey guy. i need to crash at ur haws 4 a couple of nights. Kewl?”. Jeezy needs a place for the Kommanduh in Cheef of the United America to stay. Back in the old day, he would have been cool with offering the couch, but now Egyptian Cotton is expected. So R200 million of the country’s hard earned money will be spent on upgrading the house. NEW SHITS FOR EVERYONE!

What better example of the Commandment “All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others” than Sheryl Cwele’s arrival at Westville prison. She certainly feels she shouldn’t be there! Even though she had been convicted, she appealed. She said to her lawyers “tell the court, I want the “Shaik” treatment.” She lost that appeal and ended up in prison with an extra couple of years slapped onto her sentence. Even after reporting to prison, she said she was waiting for her doctors letter from Selebi’s Doctor. But it appears that she isn’t equal enough to get that treatment. (I could have made some reference to the strikes here, but I’m tired of that now. I believe the term is saturated?)

I don’t think anyone ever listened to the “no alcohol” rule. But the amendment about excessive drinking might still be applicable. Just yesterday a “spiet-kop” (metro police – pronounced “fucking pig”) was arrested for accepting a bribe, from a drunken taxi driver. This career policeman, with 15 years in the service under his belt, was caught accepting a R20 bribe from a taxi driver who had had a few pots of umqombothi. The pig thought he had been drinking in excess, and felt that the “spot-fine” of R20 would do as penance.

I can go on and on! And so I did! About how Julius likes nice clothes and Breitling watches, and Range Rovers… And on and on. Elizabeth eventually got bored and switched on the TV. She told me to shuttup because her favourite soapy was about to start on African Magic channel. I said to her; “Elizabeth, you are a genius! You shouldn’t be cleaning my house, you should be an advisor to the President!”

Her reply stunned me again! Her reply. Verbatim.

“Oh well…”

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