Where is Papa J?

Hmmmm your breathe smells like shit!Your name is Helen Keller if you aren’t aware of all the upheaval and unrest currently rocking South Africa because of the strikes. Its on every radio station and every news report. It’s everywhere!

It seems that if you are black, and are within arms reach of a rock or long stick, you are allowed to go on strike and demand a higher wage, and that you should carry on striking until you get that higher wage (maybe it applies to whites to?! I didn’t receive a memo from the DA though). I’m not sure what happens if you are on strike for longer than a month though, do you get paid for that month? Worrying to think that people may be on strike for more money, only to get none at all. They might then go on strike from striking because they didn’t get the higher wage they were striking for, as they got nothing. Does the rule of double negatives apply here? A striking striker therefore goes back to work? This is very complicated. My little brain is just going to leave it there, as it cannot go any further without hitting the “blue screen of death” and restarting… (nerd joke, sorry!)

I can’t even count how many strikes there are at the moment. The truck-drivers are on strike, there are still miners on strike too. Its entirely possible that tea ladies are on strike, as there are quite a few coffee cups on my desk, and no sign of the refreshment consultant who usually comes to fetch them. Elizabeth has been seen with her feet up on the coffee table kicking back and watching AfriMagic, I’m not sure if this is a strike or the usual Wednesday routine though… All these strikes have marred together to become a collective of “the strike” and it no longer matters who is on strike but rather how many have been shot by a racist pig  the police.

Fuckit! I want more money! So I’m going on strike too!




Except, I’m not. Because this is a one man show. So if I don’t write this, no one will. And then you, my dear reader, will be left not knowing my 10c on this whole situation… And that just wouldn’t do! You would go to bed tonight feeling slightly uneasy, like there was something missing… I just couldn’t live with myself if that were the case!

My question is, where is The Big Man? Where is Jacob Sanex Msholozi efff-u-too-juju Zuma?  He is the father of the nation (and father to the nation too)! As far as I know, he isn’t on strike! He isn’t busy getting married again either. He certainly isn’t busy reading the report on the Limpopo textbook saga either, as Angie “Poephol-for-a-mouth” Motshekga made it through another Cabinet reshuffle as the Minister of Basic Education.

So why hasn’t he come out and said: “Be still, my children. I will look after you. Do not throw that rock. Do not swing that stick. I don’t want you to be shot’. Why hasn’t he ordered all businesses who are paying their workers peanuts to pay their workers money instead? He has told news people and other non-important people OVERSEAS that this is not the norm here, and that everything will be OK soon, and that they shouldn’t cancel their  December holiday trips to Cape Town’s luxury hotels just yet. He has said bugger all, to the South Africans who are the people being stoned and shot at. This is rather worrying.

President Zuma, please remove your penis from Minister Motshekga’s mouth/poephol, and focus. We need you to do what you were put in power to do. We need you to lead. Things are looking shady for you coming up to Mangaung as it is already. Don’t give them a reason for your supporters to “mbeki” you at the conference.

Although, as the saying goes: live by the sword, die by the sword…