My 67 Minutes for Madiba’s Birthday

I’m writing this slowly to ensure that it takes me at least 67 minutes. This should be considered as community service, as I am helping you, my community, to do something other than work on Mandela’s birthday. Sounds legit doesn’t it?

There has been a lot of publicity surrounding Old Nelly’s birthday today. I’m sure some advanced mathematics was used to work out that if you do 67 minutes of community work once a year, that this is the equivalent to the 67 years that Mr Mandela dedicated to overthrowing Apartheid and creating the South Africa that you and I share today. I failed maths, so this is beyond me.

Mr Mandela really is living proof that hard work won’t kill you. He put in some tremendous hard work over the years, and he is alive and kicking at the ripe old age of 94. Well, I say kicking, he has a bodyguard to do the actual kicking for him, as I don’t think he could wave a walking stick at you let alone raise a foot to boot you in the face. He worked for 67 years, so he is entitled to that…

But I fear a storm is brewing. Any minute now I am expecting the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse to fly into view and announce the end of the world. This isn’t because its Mandela’s birthday, or Richard Branson’s birthday either for that matter. It isn’t because a large amount of good has been done today or because some mentioned The Spear painting again. Its not because I actually like JB’s new album or because I listened to Highveld for an hour at the weekend… Its because I actually won something!

5fm is giving away tons of 46664 sneakers in honour of Mr President’s birthday. I entered the competition and I won… Isn’t that amazing?

On a serious note though, all of you reading this should get out there and do your 67 minutes. Mandela had it easy, the economy wasn’t as bad back then so he could afford to give more of his time than you can. But whats your excuse for not doing something for 67 minutes. Some of you take longer lunch breaks!

So go give a homeless man a handjob, forcefeed some starving pigeons. Shoot the neighbourhood monkey that steals everyone’s panties off of the washing line, do whatever it is that will give you that warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you know you have made a difference to someones life…