JZ’s Spear Causing a Fuss (again)

Let me hazard a guess as to what the outcome of the court action against the Goodman Gallery and City Press will be…

But first, lets get everyone else’s opinion on the picture. News 24 reported that Mr President has already said that his feelings have been hurt. He says he was shocked, offended and violated… (I think he asked his young next door neighbour to help him write that? In between her showers, homework and shaking his spear?)

JZ’s daughter said in a statement that the picture “seeks to take away our ­father’s dignity, and destroy his true character and stature as a man, a father, and a leader of the ANC and South African society at large.”

Oliver Tambo’s daughter wrote on a social networking site: “So the Pres JZ has had his portrait painted and he doesn’t like it.”

“Do the poor enjoy poverty? Do the unemployed enjoy hopelessness? Do those who can’t get housing enjoy homelessness? He must get over it. No one is having a good time. He should inspire the reverence he craves. This portrait is what he inspired. Shame neh! [sic]” (full article here)

Seems JZ’s member has given people some balls to say what they actually feel (sorry, its just too easy!). Damon Kalvari from Gareth Cliff’s morning drive show on 5FM spoke to some people at the gallery over the weekend, the recordings of which were played on live radio this morning. Apart from offending someone, and getting lost in a art critics take on the  picture, he also spoke to some ordinary black women. They asked how JZ satisfies 6 wives with such a small ‘machine gun’, and also commented that they expected more of his “machine”. This brings new meaning to Umshini Wame doesn’t it? (for those ignorant whites who read my blog, umshini wame literally means my machine, the struggle song relating to a machine gun being brought to the singer…) Who knew he was actually asking for his penis and not a machine gun? When you’ve had as much sex as he has, it doesn’t surprise me that its detachable.

So onto the court case! The ANC would like the picture to be taken down, both from the gallery and from City Press’s website (I’m not famous enough yet so I’m sure I don’t have to remove it from here…). The ANC is going to complain that this denigrates the office of the President, and that as the President, Jacob should be above this kind of slander. Anyone with a brain cell will rebut that any penis that has been in the spotlight as much as the President’s deserves to be displayed wherever there is a need. In this case, the need is to generate visits to the Goodman Gallery, and some money for Brett Murray.

Mr President (yes I’m speaking to you now, Jacob), Bill Clinton’s sperm was put on display after he biffed on Monica Lewinsky. He didn’t like it, but there was nothing he could do about it… The fact of the matter is that if YOU live a life in the public, you are going to be drawn in many different ways. Those that like you will draw you with your zip closed, those that don’t like you will draw you with a shower extending from the top of your head. Those that like to have a laugh will draw you with an oversize penis hanging out. (Ask any high school or varsity guy, this is the height of good toilet humour).

If the court case is argued logically, the Goodman Gallery will say “OK, we will take it down.” City Press might say the same, but it doesn’t matter. Its been in all the major newspapers, and is pasted all over the internet, the picture has done what it set out to do; and that is to cause a stir. Its not the first time the President’s winky has done that…

The bigger question is, if you were an upset President, who didn’t like the picture being shown off in the media, and you had the tools to limit what the media is allowed to say, something like… I dunno.. ummm… the Protection of Information Bill (that seeks to be able gag the media and prosecute people who disclose state secrets), would you not just push this through, fueled by such defiance as is being shown at present? If I wanted to give the middle finger to the press, I would…