Tag Archives: Brett Murray

The Fuss Over JZ’s Spear Continues

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You know that moment when you realise you have pulled the pin on a grenade and thrown it, and then realised afterwards that you have thrown the pin at your enemies, and that you have just dropped the grenade at your feet, and you are waiting for the inevitable explosion?

It seems the explosion has finally happened. All the usual insults have been thrown. “Its degrading” and “shows no respect for the president” are but a few of the complaints about Zuma’s cartoon winky. My favourite comment though, is “the picture and the artist are racist.” How is a picture of a black man with a fair sized penis racist?

HOLD ON A SECOND! WOOOOAH! Look at the picture again… It is in fact a yellow man with a red penis. Hmmmm… I suppose you would see this as racist if you were Chinese, but would probably also keep your mouth shut as as it depicts this Chinese person as being well endowed!

Its difficult therefore to say it is JZ, and also that the picture is racist. How then did the President see the portrait as depicting him as “a philanderer, a womaniser and one with no respect”? Those were the words he thought of when he saw the painting of a well endowed Chinese person? If the shoe fits Mr President… (Or in this case, the condom)

This explains why what I can only imagine is a rogue street artist and his older gentleman friend were caught painting the person on the picture black yesterday afternoon. They realised that the President had outed himself as “a philanderer, a womaniser and one with no respect” and needed to cover up his blunder before anyone else noticed. The hard headed approach of the security guard (check this video) doesn’t help the young black man in the slightest, but it does make the video a lot more entertaining. Iman Rapetti from 3rd Degree was there recording what will be a very boring, argumentative and tedious report (if Debora Patta has anything to do with it) on the painting when the artists started repainting the painting, so there is some great footage. The older gentleman friend first painted two red X’s to show exactly where the picture needed to be “coloured in” to make JZ’s comments viable, then the youngster got stuck in with the black paint. They didn’t do a very good job though… The painting is now a bit of a mess.

And now the picture has made international news! Luckily only after it was repainted, otherwise I’m sure Sky News would be wondering why Jacob is labeling himself as  “a philanderer, a womaniser and one with no respect” when looking at a portrait of a yellow man with a red penis. They can now safely make the assumption that because the person in the painting is “black” and he has said this, it must therefore be him…

JZ’s Spear Causing a Fuss (again)

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Let me hazard a guess as to what the outcome of the court action against the Goodman Gallery and City Press will be…

But first, lets get everyone else’s opinion on the picture. News 24 reported that Mr President has already said that his feelings have been hurt. He says he was shocked, offended and violated… (I think he asked his young next door neighbour to help him write that? In between her showers, homework and shaking his spear?)

JZ’s daughter said in a statement that the picture “seeks to take away our ­father’s dignity, and destroy his true character and stature as a man, a father, and a leader of the ANC and South African society at large.”

Oliver Tambo’s daughter wrote on a social networking site: ”So the Pres JZ has had his portrait painted and he doesn’t like it.”

“Do the poor enjoy poverty? Do the unemployed enjoy hopelessness? Do those who can’t get housing enjoy homelessness? He must get over it. No one is having a good time. He should inspire the reverence he craves. This portrait is what he inspired. Shame neh! [sic]” (full article here)

Seems JZ’s member has given people some balls to say what they actually feel (sorry, its just too easy!). Damon Kalvari from Gareth Cliff’s morning drive show on 5FM spoke to some people at the gallery over the weekend, the recordings of which were played on live radio this morning. Apart from offending someone, and getting lost in a art critics take on the  picture, he also spoke to some ordinary black women. They asked how JZ satisfies 6 wives with such a small ‘machine gun’, and also commented that they expected more of his “machine”. This brings new meaning to Umshini Wame doesn’t it? (for those ignorant whites who read my blog, umshini wame literally means my machine, the struggle song relating to a machine gun being brought to the singer…) Who knew he was actually asking for his penis and not a machine gun? When you’ve had as much sex as he has, it doesn’t surprise me that its detachable.

So onto the court case! The ANC would like the picture to be taken down, both from the gallery and from City Press’s website (I’m not famous enough yet so I’m sure I don’t have to remove it from here…). The ANC is going to complain that this denigrates the office of the President, and that as the President, Jacob should be above this kind of slander. Anyone with a brain cell will rebut that any penis that has been in the spotlight as much as the President’s deserves to be displayed wherever there is a need. In this case, the need is to generate visits to the Goodman Gallery, and some money for Brett Murray.

Mr President (yes I’m speaking to you now, Jacob), Bill Clinton’s sperm was put on display after he biffed on Monica Lewinsky. He didn’t like it, but there was nothing he could do about it… The fact of the matter is that if YOU live a life in the public, you are going to be drawn in many different ways. Those that like you will draw you with your zip closed, those that don’t like you will draw you with a shower extending from the top of your head. Those that like to have a laugh will draw you with an oversize penis hanging out. (Ask any high school or varsity guy, this is the height of good toilet humour).

If the court case is argued logically, the Goodman Gallery will say “OK, we will take it down.” City Press might say the same, but it doesn’t matter. Its been in all the major newspapers, and is pasted all over the internet, the picture has done what it set out to do; and that is to cause a stir. Its not the first time the President’s winky has done that…

The bigger question is, if you were an upset President, who didn’t like the picture being shown off in the media, and you had the tools to limit what the media is allowed to say, something like… I dunno.. ummm… the Protection of Information Bill (that seeks to be able gag the media and prosecute people who disclose state secrets), would you not just push this through, fueled by such defiance as is being shown at present? If I wanted to give the middle finger to the press, I would…